Life in Metro Part III—Of Aunties, Seats and Sardars

What is it with aunties and seats? They just can’t get enough of them, even if it is for a 10-minute journey. This is a case with every woman who falls in the aunty-category i.e. a woman in her late thirties and above. Now a woman in her thirties cannot be so old that she cannot stand for as short a time as 10 minutes and that too in an AC coach, which is only a bit overcrowded. And if they so badly want to sit, why don’t they exercise themselves a bit, like we do.

That day, the metro station in question was overcrowded and me and Bitch no. 3 decided that instead of taking the one straight home, we should take the opposite metro and then double back. This way we will escape the crowd and get a seat as well. And we did just that. On that very metro station, as usual, people entered in hoards, pushing and jostling with each other, trying to make even those, who want to get off, complete—or if you want to put it like this—stretch their journey. We were sitting in seats made for two just where two coaches meet. Both of us prefer these seats as we can chat properly without anyone around and they’re damn comfortable to sit on, with proper siderests and all.

However, as is the case with all good things, our good fortune and the pride in it came to an end—an abrupt one. This particular aunty—must be around 40s—comes and says, “Please adjust kar lo”. Me and No.3 looked at each other’s faces. Hello? Seat… Do you see this is a place made for only two? Where would you like to sit? On our heads? In fact, before I could even think of such supposedly funny witticisms, I, to my horror of horrors, realised that I just didn’t know what to say. Such gross foolishness… But then, I realised you can expect such things out of aunties. No.3 shrugged and got up. I, then, decided there was no point sitting with that stupid aunty and I would rather stand as well. I gave my seat to an elderly woman, one can call her aunty too, but then this one was different from the crowd. She was old, must be in her 60s and even then didn’t ask for “adjustment”. I respect her for that, but had she asked for a seat, I would have readily given it to her.

I joined No.3 at the joint (for the uninitiated, it is the point where two coaches meet) and started venting my frustration about that stupid woman. She too was rather angry. After all, we had spent 10 minutes in trying to make ourselves comfortable in the metro. “I mean, honestly, how can she say stuff like that adjust kar lo? Typical sardar talks,” I spoke rather loudly, actually not that loudly, but, I think, it must’ve been enough for the people at the joint to hear me. No.3 tapped me and asked me to look behind. And to my horrors of horrors yet again (too many horrors for a day if you ask me; I’m getting rather tired of them), there was a sardar standing just behind. I turned back quickly and tried to console myself saying he most probably didn’t hear me. No.3 though insisted that he must have as she thought I was loud enough. Who gives a damn about what she thinks? But actually I do.

But the Sardar didn't react and thankfully for that. No.3 asked me to be careful about what I say. Well! she of the sanest of all individuals. Hrrrrmph! But by now, I had gotten another reason to crib about apart from that stupid aunty, "Why is it that whenever I crack Sardar jokes does a Sardar have to be around?" I kept riling on it for long and not without reason. This always happens with me, but thankfully, I have never faced the music. I get away with it. :)

But that aunty, I hope she never gets away with it again.......