A Recap and a Wish List

For this post, I thought let’s review the last year’s wish list and see what wishes came true.

Ø The first wish was about my college and college mates. College has come to an end and I have made some good friends there. No more wasted weekends. Thank God! The wish stands fulfilled.

Ø The second wish was about Delhi Jal Board and their goof-ups. Now that we have got a submersible water pump installed in our home, DJB’s goof-ups won’t trouble us much as they used to earlier. But one still needs drinking water and I hope they do not do any more mischief. The wish is partially fulfilled.

Ø The third wish was about my lenses. My eyes have stopped watering, now that I’ve had my lenses changed. They do trouble me occasionally, but it’s okay. That wish has been fulfilled too.

Ø My father still does not occupy the bathroom by 8:25 though sometimes after much persuasion he has been kind enough to enter the bathroom by 8:15, but only sometimes (Such sometimes are rare). This wish has not been fulfilled.

Ø Well, the lectures haven’t stopped. In fact, the number has only increased with Bitch No.3 too entering the arena. So, this wish too has not been realised.

Ø Tanaz has left. So, there’s nobody to say “so sweet” repeatedly. I wish her well though; she was a nice girl. The wish too stands fulfilled, although not in a manner I desired. Nevertheless…

Ø My hypocrisy levels remain where they were last year. And now that I look back, they may have come down, but only a bit. Too bad. Not realised!

Ø There are all the more reasons to crib this year. This means that God is still to hear me out on this one.

Ø I suppose God granted me many more wishes last year. Fulfilled.

So, God gets 5-1/2 out of 9. Just about average. He’d better pull up his socks this year and brace himself (or herself, I'll let him/her choose this at least) for this year’s wish list.

Ø I wish I derive more satisfaction out of my work, which is now becoming tad too boring and routine.

Ø I wish that boss sees senseand reverts to the five-day routine and punish those who do not come in time, not the entire unsuspecting office janata.

Ø I wish that my exercise regimen finally works the way I want it to and help me reduce my weight as quickly as possible so that many of my problems get solved.

Ø I wish to get a nice appraisal and a promotion (for a bonus mark, God) so that I’m able to buy myself a nice laptop by next year. (Apple Macbook, perhaps. Hope I'm not asking for much.)

Ø I wish that my dad considers everyone’s point of view, not just his. I cannot do anything about the size of my bathroom now that it has been constructed, but he should allow me to move my stuff upstairs and not create any more pangas in that.

Ø I wish my mom does not grow panicky every time I’m 15 minutes late and does not call me after every hour just to know where I’ve reached.

Ø I wish all my friends stay close and that we do not fight as we had been doing a few weeks ago. Peace and love must reign.

Ø I wish to find at least one decent guy, who is worth thinking about, to say the least. And, here I’m not talking about my guy friends.

Ø I wish that all the last year’s unfulfilled and partially fulfilled wishes are realised this year.

Ø I wish that God grants me at least two more wishes this year just in case I need to ask for more.

Cheers and have a brilliant year ahead!

Love in the Times of Riches

I had been commissioned to write some pieces for a website, which was supposed to be this next-hottest-thing on the Internet. However, the owners chickened out of the deal at the last moment. This is one of the four articles that I had written and now that I will be no longer paid to write for them nor would these articles be used, I have taken the liberty of putting them here. I have struck off a few lines as they do not go with the general nature of this blog.

Please go through them and tell me was this article good enough to be used or not. One can say that this is my idea of revenge, but then this can be taken as healthy criticism as well. Anyways, both bouquets and brickbats are welcome. Here it goes:

These are rich times. We love our comforts and serve to increase them, making alliances that help us climb the “success” ladder.

Success—a relative term yet again. Some define it as an ability to earn as much material comforts as possible. Then there is this other school of thought, according to which, success is your ability of being remembered long after you’re gone. They say that you do it by spreading love.

But we live in busy times where one does not have time for love—here it means romantic love. Every actor has at least once in their lives claimed that they can’t afford to fall in love. But ultimately, they do. That’s the beauty of it all.

However, somehow, in our quest of wealth, we all tend to run away from love. We have a tendency to consider it as a burden, something that will chain us and yet, come on let’s face it, still love those lovey-dovey numbers by Kailash Kher and Savage Garden, not because of the music alone but because of the lyrics as well.

So, then why does such a contradiction exist in our lives? To this, my dear friends, I have no answer. I won’t pretend to be a saint, nor would I be hypocritical about it—I am still hesitant to embrace love.

The article may not make sense to many. They may say that I’m being too vague and random in my thoughts. However, there are many who do know what I’m talking about, who’ve been here and understand my feelings. The next paragraph is for them and for those who’ve stuck with me till here.

The Eagles have doled out some great advice in the form of their haunting number Desperado.
Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds boy,
She’ll hurt you if she’s able,
You know the queen of hearts is always your bet.

Despite this being one of my favourite songs, I find myself unable to follow what it preaches. What about you?

Gateway to Heaven

Clicked in Connaught Place... Should have focused more on the sky... What to do.... I'm learning...

The colours of today

View from atop the Pitampura Metro Station. Lovely ain't it?

Lessons I have learnt Part 1

These are some of the things I have learnt over the years:

Ø Every action in itself is not bad or good, it is its aftermaths that decide whether it was good or not.

Ø One pays for one’s own deeds.

Ø God believes in keeping balance sheets in perfect order. He rewards you when you make him happy and punishes you when you make him unhappy; and the punishment comes when you expect it the least.

Ø All good things must come to an end. Ditto with all bad things as well, though somehow good things do not last that long, or so it seems to us.

Ø Believe it or not, somehow somewhere you end up taking shit from someone or the other and most of the times that person is not worth taking shit from.

Ø At the end of the day, you are all alone to face the world and you have to do what you have to.

Ø Quest for knowledge is an essential part of life, be it from personal experiences, books, television, films or travel.

Ø Everything is subjective to one’s perspective. Objectivity is a farce, an ideal not worth even trying for.

Ø There are always two facets of a story, if not many. One must choose which one we want to believe and it is these choices in life that make us what we are.

Ø Never expect anything from anyone. Trust me, it hurts when you are let down.

Ø Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.

Ø Accept change as a part of life. It is the only truth worth accepting. Nothing comes closer to it, not even God and not even love.

Ø Everyone is eccentric in his/her way.

Ø And lastly, even if you hate being yourself, don’t force yourself to change if your heart does not allow it. Change yourself, only if it makes you happy. Do not be concerned about what others think of you.

Hopefully, there will be further additions to this list.

In love

I am in love. With this:

This is called Sony Ericsson W850i.

Compareindia.com says: This 116 grams phone has a Lithium Polymer battery type, which allows you talk time of 450 minutes and stand by time of 350 hours. It has added features like 262K colour TFT display with resolution of 240 x 320 pixels, fm radio, push email client, voice dial, voice mail, call conferencing, triband, vibration mode, predictive text input, polyphonic ring tones, stopwatch, calculator, calendar, tasks, handsfree speaker, ring tone composer, countdown timer, SMS, EMS, MMS, GPRS, Bluetooth, Infrared, USB connector, flight mode, inbuilt Dictaphone, equalizer, mp3, mpeg4 and media player, and is WAP enabled. It comes with dual camera - 2MP camera with 4x zoom, flash, white balancer, self timer, night mode, multi-shot, light effects, video recording and secondary VGA camera in front for Video Call. This phone is PDA enabled and has a cHTML, WAP 1.2.1, WAP 2.0 browser. It has an inbuilt memory of 16MB and slot for memory stick pro duo.

Me says: I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it. But it costs a mad Rs 19,000.... :(

Hakuna Matata

There’s just one philosophy that’s worth considering, that of Hakuna Matata. However, it ain’t that easy to follow. To many it doesn’t sound propah.

I, however, have never cared about anything being proper or improper. But there are some things that never seem to go away—that of change. It’s a reality—I won’t call it a sad one—people change. It’s pretty natural. It is, in fact, required to keep life going, for a process called evolution of man, of the self.

People, whom I care about, say I have changed. I agree I have and I can never be apologetic about it. Though, I am a bit uncomfortable with myself and with the world, I am sure that if I give myself time, the discomfort will vanish. I don’t have problems with myself, at least not right now.

However, the part of the world where I live and love, does not feel comfortable with me any longer. My friends, who care for me and love me more than I love myself, are perturbed and perhaps, upset. One has even cried because of this change. All I can say is that I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Moreover, I didn’t even know what was going on. Though I did have a vague idea that they were feeling bad and left-out because of me changing. But I wonder why they didn’t tell me anything about it earlier. And I wonder why they couldn’t digest the new me. Did I behave so despicably?

If only life could have been much more simpler and problem-free…

If only Hakuna Matata could work for me as well, or perhaps, work for others around me.

Repeat... That's the whole tragedy

Exactly a week left for me to turn 21. Imagine me being 21! Sounds funny doesn't it? But I've hardly changed and yet there's a change. That's the irony of my life. The thing is there and yet not there. I want something and yet I do not want that thing. Most of the times, I am in a confusion whether to go in for that thing or not, whether to say something or not, whether I want to be good or bad. That's what happens with this blog too—I want to write and yet when I start to write, I don't like it and tell myself that something better needs to be put up here in this space and I end up erasing every little precious thing I wrote. Imagine! I have at least two drafts of blog pieces in my post which I am yet to complete and though I plan to complete them soon, my mood swings to the other side and they are left as they were. Phew! Quite a long and complex sentence. But then that's how my life is. Long, dull, complicated and boring. And I had thought that being complicated was fun.

I often digress from my point. I have so much to say that I puke all over the screen without giving a thought about you, my poor readers. This blog has been silent for quite some time. Not that I haven't tried to write; I swear I did but I ended up somehow increasing the number of drafts in my blog. And there are still two more copies in my register that I'd written during a class and had thought would post it here and couldn't as they never got completed as somebody interrupted me and now I do not feel like completing them. That's the whole problem. Repetitive na.. I know.. That's a tragedy too.

Some people say I crib a lot. I agree. Many people say this is an angst-ridden blog. I agree again. But then I can't help it. Maybe I can but I've never tried. I suppose I must give it a try but I think I will keep forgetting this that I have to restrain myself. Even when I write this, I remember that I have to restrain myself. Off you go! Back to my books. I was supposed to study and I'm blogging. This is my problem (I know I am repeating myself..and this 'repeat' dialogue is repeating itself again). I just cannot help digress and restrain myself. (Repeat) There I go again. Apologies! And more apologies for not having written anything this month. I had planned to write something about my resolutions this birthday but somehow ended up cribbing yet again. But planning won't help me. Most of my plans go haywire just like this one did. The reason—my not sticking to the script. Take, for instance, my morning walks which have stopped again, first for that Goddamn special issue and then because of the Goddamn college and its exams. So, I might just put up a NO RESOLUTION board yet again like this:
NO RESOLUTION (though I am planning to start morning walking again)

Oh! and bye for now. I suppose I wrote a lot after saying I will stop and I just get this feeling that I'm going to start all over again. This is a Goddamn vicious cirlce. Irony yet again! (Repeat) Buhbye! And my apologies for all repetitions and many many thanks for being so tolerant of me. And now I am thinking of putting a headline, it is there and yet not there. Repetitive again... I know. That's the problem, I know everything and yet not know anything. Shut up Devil!

Perhaps...

A sun ray falls on the yellow petal of the flower and the dew drop so far resting on it, glistens with a new-found energy. He loved nature. It bestowed him with an enthusiasm for life, for its eccentricities and its playfulness. His muddled thoughts used to pave way to a peaceful and an uncluttered mind. His heart used to reach out to the dew drop, to kiss the yellow, sun-lit face of the flower.

The fact that a part of his life was gone never seemed to bother him. He looked forward to the next moment in the same way as a class topper looks forward to the next set of exams—to show off, to strut his stuff and to display to the world that he is the best, not through words but through actions.

And yet under this calm demeanour, there was a fear that lurked. It was not the fear of failure. It wasn’t the fear of death. It was the fear of unhappiness—an unhappiness that comes from disappointing those you love, an unhappiness that comes when you get disappointed with life. Perhaps, labelling the fear as that of unhappiness would be wrong. Perhaps, unhappiness should be substituted with disappointment.

Perhaps, life cannot be as simple as a dew drop’s life as much as he and we may want it to be.

In the process...

Life is good, but it could have been better. But then even Salman Khan could have been taller and Himesh Reshammiya tolerable. However, there is something that I miss profoundly, something that I find unable to express in words, maybe because am yet to figure out what it is.

There seems to be a void inside me that just refuses to be bridged with the other part of the soul. Even if I am busy, it makes its presence felt the moment I take a breather. And before people start using that l-word, I would like to clarify that such pangs never used to hit me before. It’s just that I find myself changing, growing more obstinate and unreasonable and the mood swings are getting more and more pronounced these days.

Those silent moments in a conversation are increasing. It makes me feel as if I have nothing more to say to anyone. This is happening to a "chuchu ka murabba" who could never cease talking even for a moment. I get into strange moods, doubt myself, and seem to be in search of something every moment—sometimes knowledge, sometimes peace.

Is it work pressure? I don’t think so. After all, I love my work and even though I get touchy about it, work pressure can never make me say and do things that I do not want to.

I want to stop for some time, stop and watch, stop and then move, explore myself and the world around. I think I have been running too much of late. My moments of peace seem to get disturbed every time. But I cannot stop, at least not right now; I have miles to go.

But really can anyone just explain to me what’s been happening all this while and why is this transformation taking place and that too at a speed which bewilders me?

Truckloads of Gibberish

The feeling is still to sink in. There’s this wonderful sunlight all around that is permeating through me. Everything seems so very distant and yet so far. The cup of contradictions seems to be overflowing—delighting me and saddening me all at once. A bed full of roses is not required at the moment; what is required is a hot cup of coffee.

Whatever has been written so far, is nothing but gibberish. But this is what I have been feeling. Gibberish—that’s what! I am unable to understand anything that’s been happening and is still happening. I am typing this stuff as if in a trance—as if I do not know anything that I am doing, Feeling mad. Let me feel more mad…

Asdaksdhkajhdfkfdsv dsfndsfosfjdsvnnbavsdv fa;gdfkaeifawej;fpqwefjarlnvga anfakdfanfdjfnakfmn nafkfaejiadrj;fvnbfjbvand akdfjalfnakdfrfa;dfjnbjaadpopawepdawe efa;fj orifgjarijfirajitharouekf vaifjaeifnagbgbdfaaufaure;fr arirejwojaerfgbalf aejfaerhfaunaf afefeuhaeufn;afnriafhairefnv neajfaepwrjiewfnv hfah;ejofahdlfjo;aj aeniehaehdlancarfhc aewfiefhaeruwfhav

That was a bit relieving.

Is this love? Have I fallen in the pit? Has the sting operation got me as well?


Hehehehehehehehe… don’t worry, nothing’s up with me. Just thought of giving some surprise to you guys and trick you all. I am absolutely well and doing fine indeed. The sting is still to trap me.

Some Cribs and a Wish List

Although I had promised that I am not going to crib before the year ends, something absolutely forced me to crib again.

Ø I am unable to understand what’s up with my lenses. Every time I wear them, my right eye becomes watery and forces me to fill buckets. It grows red giving me a dopey look. It has also made my right eye look smaller than my left one. Hell! Interestingly, I cry only with one eye (the right one of course) and seeing the condition of the eye, the nose starts crying and running at the same time.

Ø Another thing that is troubling me is my boss’s attitude. He treats me like an outcaste and a fathead who doesn’t understand anything. He makes me feel that my dad wasted his money by in trying to educate me as I am (he thinks so) still an uneducated ass.

Ø Why does my father insist on occupying the bathroom only after 8:30 am? Why not around 8:25 am? He should understand that now even I have to go to office and it’s not just him who’s working now. Is he aware that a word called ‘adjustment’ exists in the world?

Ø Why does Tanaz have to say “so sweet” to every darned thing?

Most people make resolutions for the New Year, I am making a Wish List and I hope that the chap who lives in the skies and calls himself God fulfills these wishes. Here goes the list:

Ø I wish that my college and college mates behave properly with me and try to understand that it is hateful to keep on thinking about their own selves and comfort.

Ø I wish that Delhi Jal Board does not goof up on the water supply in our locality so that we are not forced to go to the temple a street away to fill our buckets and that my grandmother sees the logic behind my so many arguments on leaving this locality for good.

Ø I wish that my lenses stop troubling my eyes and try not to turn them into hosepipes.

Ø I wish that my boss stops behaving like that.

Ø I wish that my father occupies the bathroom by 8:25 in the morning and vacates it by 8:50.

Ø I wish that I get lectured less from now on.

Ø I wish Tanaz stops saying “so sweet” to every darned thing.

Ø I wish my hypocrisy level goes down by the same time next year.

Ø I wish that I will have fewer reasons to crib next year.

Ø I wish that God grants me two more wishes the next year just in case I need to ask for more.

Cheers and wish you all a very Happy New Year!

The friends who weren't

Life charts its own course and there are things that are beyond your control. This is what Bhavya learnt the wrong way. A strong personality and a real hot-headed one too, she really trusted her friends. Although in school, she had always felt alone, she used to help her friends with their homework and all. She had been waging a battle against herself from the time she felt she had grown-up and her parents thought that she hadn’t. So, she decided in her parents’ favour and decided she hadn’t. She did whatever she was told, and learnt to keep a tight control over her needs and desires. She learnt how to pretend that she was happy, when she was not. She felt like committing suicide.

These friends of hers were her lifeline. They managed to keep her alive and kicking during those difficult days. They were able to bring a genuine smile on her lips even though her heart used to cry out at all times. Although she never told them her real feelings because she knew they wouldn’t understand, Bhavya still lived her life and tried to do that happily. She knew that these friends weren’t for real, that they would go away once they reached the first crossroad, but still she felt comforted in an odd manner. Perhaps, it was the fact that there were some people, who though cannot provide comfort, can at least provide her laughter though a short-lived one. She yearned for those bouts of laughter. Her fiery ways were gone as she was too busy trying to fight with herself and to hide her real feelings from the world outside—a world in which her parents lived and lived these so-called-friends. She helped them whenever she could, even though she knew she was being used. She let it happen and to feel happiness in a true manner, turned to books like Harry Potter, which although were a bit flighty in character, nonetheless, provided her the warmth of friendship.

Time passed by and it was time for the crossroad. She was thrown in a state of confusion, whether to be happy or to feel sad. However, it seemed that Mother Nature was smiling on her and she finally got what she wanted. Her parents deciding that she had finally grown-up, allowed her what she really wanted. She got it. She was ecstatic but had really no one except her parents to share her joy with as all her so-called-friends had deserted her and had become busy with their own careers. She didn’t blame them, for partly she was happy that this was a new beginning of sorts. And it was. She made new friends— good friends, real friends—who loved her for what she was, re-discovered herself. Discovered that she could be good, that there are people who respected her and her beliefs. That made Bhavya strong. That self-esteem which had taken a beating, raised its head yet again. She learnt how to live and live happily. Came another crossroad, but this time the friends remained with her. What’s more, she found a means to re-connect to her so-called-friends.

She got a job. She met those so-called-friends through Orkut. She thought may be we can really be friends this time. She met them quite some times and thought that they can be real good friends. But guess what, Mother Nature had thought of something else this time too. She gave a good dressing down to a school mate one day on what she thought and felt was wrong. But guess what, it turned out that the guy was one of the popular ones, and now nobody can come and take her side. Those people feel embarrassed to even wish her. They feel Bhavya is wrong, they feel she should not have said so. They know she is a strong girl and would not care about what they say and may be even give them a dressing down, they have left her alone. No one to talk to. Guess, she was wrong yet again. Guess, she again chose wrong people to be friends with. Guess, all those people are wrong about her as she still cares. Stop caring, will you? Be strong as always Bhavya, there are people in this world who care for you. Stop looking for those who were never there.

Wanted to say something

Just wanted to say that it would be better if the readers of my blog post their names along with their comments. Just can't stand this anonymous thingy please. Not really in my nature to stand all kinds of suspense that anonymous posts bring with them. I am that sort of a person who reads the last pages of a mystery novel first just to know who-done-it. And imagine what sort of a torture you guys are inflicting on your poor devil by posting anonymous comments.

So, put down your real names please. I am not going to eat you up. See, am a pseudo-vegetarian. I do not eat non-veg until really forced to.

Miles to go...

The woods are lovely dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

-By Robert Frost

(Quoted from his poem: Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening)

Song that celebrates life

Ever heard of this song from Hum Dono. This is a Sahir Ludhianvi creation and can best describe the way life should be led.

Main Zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya... Har fikr ko dhuen me udata chala gaya...

A song that conveys the essence of life. One shouldn't let worries bog us down and continue to live life as if nothing happened.

Barbadiyon ka soudh manana fizool tha... barbadiyon ka jashn manata chala gaya...
Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya... har fikr ko dhuen me.....

This is how you should take failures. One shouldn't let failure distract you from the real goal. Like sucess, failure also teaches us something and thus, should be a cause for happiness as well.

Jo mil gaya usi ko muqaddar samajh liya... jo kho gaya main usko bhulata chala gaya...
Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya... har fikr ko dhen me....

This is how you should losses. There is nothing on this Earth which is worth crying for; nothing without which you cannot live. Even if you loose something, that pain shouldn't keep you off from trying to attain greater heights.

Gham aur khushi me fark na mehsoos ho jahan... main dil ko us muqaam par laata chala gaya...
Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya... har fikr ko dhen me....

This is how you should handle happiness and sadness. One should't feel too elated in happiness and too dejected during times of distress.

However, this doesn't mean that you start living a mechanical life. One can be still human enough without letting small things bother us. Just remember nothing can be greater than life itself.

In want of something

It’s just today I felt like writing something. Unable to find a real topic, I really don’t know what I am doing. It’s just this feeling of being able to write that gives me a high. But suddenly this feeling engulfs me—there are people who are unable to read and write, people who are still in the clutches of a disease called illiteracy, people who are still unable to get a high that I derive from being able to write. Even after we have entered the 21st century, even when we go on and on about India being on the brink of being a superpower, I see those kids clutching a bag full of rags, shivering in the harsh Delhi winter.

The government is trying, but what about us? Are we doing anything about this? We do feel outrage at the sight of these kids and people, but that feeling of outrage ebbs away when we step back into our own lives, we forget all about them as the humdrum of our lives gets too loud for us to hear the questions that their eyes ask of us. That feeling of kindness slowly and steadily gives way to indifference. We move away because by that time our ears have been rendered a little deaf by that loud noise of our life; but only a little as we can hear the noise not the whisper.

And then there are the complaints. The complaints about not having enough to lead a comfortable life; ask them what it means to be comfortable. For them it means being able to eat two decent meals, getting proper clothes to wear and a sound roof on there heads. Even that we haven’t been able to provide these people.

Okay, it seems the writing fever is wearing down. And me, it seems am slowly getting back to my old self; to that daily humdrum of life, too deaf to listen to their silent pleads for help and care. Back to my old guiltless self now.

P.S. It seems I finally found a topic to write on.

That Wretched feeling

Sometimes this feeling of worthlessness creeps in your heart, casting a chill on all the other feelings. It makes you feel dreadful; it makes you feel negative and unable to understand anything that is going on in your life. You are unable to concentrate and get over it. Something or the other consistently bogs you down. And you… you just want to run away. Run away from everything and everyone who does that you to you; run away to a place that offers you the warmth of friendship and laughter. You long for a friend to come to your rescue and take you away to a place where nobody makes you feel uncomfortable, nobody discourages you and makes you feel wretched. Is there a place that can take this refugee and provide all the comfort and warmth, just to make her little heart feel a little less dreary?

A few questions...

Where do you belong… I mean which state? What’s your caste? What religion do you belong to? These are the first questions that one is asked.

How does it matter where I belong? Is it really important to know which state I am from? How much does my religion play a role in my being a good or a bad person? Why does my caste matter so much? I have often seen my mother bobbing up and down whenever someone mentions that they are a Bhatnagar, she seems so happy just to meet them as if they belong to her family. I feel a pang of pain whenever she says that she won’t give her daughter to a Saxena family. Heaven forbid if I fall in love with a Muslim or a Scheduled Caste. She doesn’t look amused whenever my dad even jestingly says that he will marry me to a Scheduled caste as that would be a quite advantageous for my kids.

People say that India is the most discriminating society in this world. And I seem to agree. We may all rave about the tolerance levels of our country, about how secular we are, about how India is a country of unity in diversity, that how so many cultures are blended within that Indianness, that how we are one; the truth is that we may be one but that one betrays the many decimals that make that number, the cultures may have blended but there are people who seem to know just how to disintegrate that blend, there may be unity but sometimes the diversity defeats that unity, our secularism betrays signs of pseudo-secularism, and the tolerance levels are nothing to rave about. Gujarat witnesses small communal riots on a daily basis, which largely go unreported. Malegaon in Maharashtra is a communal tinderbox.

Why is it that today every Muslim is looked upon with a suspicious gaze? Why is it that many Christians do charity in the name of their religion? Why is it that Hindus are treated as second-rate citizens here? Why is it that vote-bank politics as well caste-based politics is still practiced in India? We get the leaders that we deserve and today our politics and politicians are playing politics of hatred, then we are to blame. We do vote on caste and religion lines.

Why? It is time, perhaps, that we ask ourselves these questions before it gets too late. Too late for us to be called a nation.

The villain

Say villain and the first image that comes to the mind is:
Gabbar Singh saying, "Kitne aadmi they."
And then, Amrish Puri. "Mogambo khush hua."
Gulshan Grover. "Bad Man."
Shahrukh Khan. "K-K-K-K-Kiran" (Uff, the stutterer)

The last example is something that is very true to all love stories. Where is a love story, there is a villain. All the problems that occur in the love story are because of that villain. The vilalin will surface after the honeymoon period is over and leave behind a tale of destruction, agonies and loades of tears. (Sniff... Sniff... Pass that tissue please... The villain will leave behind a trail of trissues too.)

In Munnabhai MBBS, the villain was +(no, you guessed it wrong... it wasn't Boman Irani) Dr. Suman's love for her father.
In Page 3, it was the guy's ambition and his unscrupulous ways who were the villain.
In Darr, it was Shahrukh Khan.
In Padosan, it was Bhola's inability to sing.

Moving on to the world of books. In Romeo and Juliet, the lovers' families were the villains. In Harry Potter, it is Harry's destiny. In Othello, it was Iago who was the villain. Closer home, in Ramayana, it was Ravana who was the villain. (O a personal note though, I would rather have Ravana than three mothers-in-law.) In Devdas, it was the caste system that was the villain.

In my world, there have been several villains too. Although I have never been the protagonist of the love stories (more of the extra character), I have seen things going horribly wrong. The villains were: the physical distance between the two, the tendency to lie, libido, a troubled past, family.

Wonder who would be the villain if I am the protagonist of a love story. Hmmm hmmm hmmm. Eureka!!! I know it. It;s gonna be the devil and that's me, me, me.

A dangerous game may soon begin... (Abhishek Bachchan's dad. Oh! I love Abhishek Bachchan. Now if only I get him, I promise not to play villain.)